SEX PERFORMANCE ANXIETY
Sexual fears of men
Sex is supposed to be a pleasurable experience, but it's hard to feel sexy or intimate with your partner when you have sexual performance anxiety. When you are constantly wondering, "Am I doing this right?" "Is my penis size normal?" "Is my partner enjoying this"? Or "Will she get sexual satisfaction from me"? You become too preoccupied to enjoy sex.
Constant worry over your appearance or ability in bed can make sex stressful and nerve-wracking. It can even make you want to avoid having sex and you tell her some excuses or simply not show sexual interest.
Sex is more then just a physical response. Arousal is tied into your emotions, too. When your mind is too stressful out to focus on sex, your body can't get excited either and then you can not get erection or you loose erection.
Men might seem to be quite vocal, much more than women, especially when it comes to sexual matters. However, they are not too far from anxieties and fears when it comes to their sexuality.
In this article, you will learn what causes sexual performance anxiety and discover treatment that will help reignite your sex life
Causes of sexual performance anxiety or sexual fears of men
1. Fear that you won't perform well in bed and satisfy your partner sexually. Anxiety about impotence ranks first in the order of problems, in all the sexual fears that men have. Unfortunately, the fear itself is the greatest cause of impotence. In 90 % cases of difficulty in erection at the young age the cause is psychogenic. After the age of 40 years, we see more biological cause.
These things happen on their own in response to situation. One may involve in foreplay without spattering at the organ, and the erection happens on its own accord. Behind the fear of failure to get erection is a fundamental anxiety-the fear of being rejected. The partner understands and support plays a very vital role in getting over the psychogenic erectile difficulties.
2. Fear of "small" size of penis: Poor body image. Large number of men carry the Complex of small size of penis. Size of penis does not matter-function matters. The size is invariably thought to be the parameter for one's manliness and one's ability to satisfy his partner. First of all, the woman's satisfaction does not depend on the size of the penis. On the contrary, too big can be a problem, in that it could hurt the partner. The fact is that only the outer 1/3rd of the woman's vagina is sensitive to sexual stimuli. So, it doesn't matter to a woman how deep one reaches during the penile vaginal intercourse. More then 5 cms flaccid penis can satisfy a woman. If an erect penis has a size of five inches, which most the men have, it is enough for him to satisfy his woman. It is not the size, but what you do with what you have, that truly matters. Sex is an art and science; you need to learn both to satisfy your female partner.
3. A man's concern about ejaculating prematurely or taking too long to reach orgasm. Premature ejaculation is one of the most common sexual concerns amongst newly married or young man and causes lots of anxiety. Due to hyper excitement and hyper sensitive glans penis or painful foreskin problems, many man ejaculate before one to two minutes-leads to unsatisfactory sexlife for himself and or partner or both. The best way to deal problem is to visit a sexpert before marriage or as soon as you find out the problem and sex expert will always examine you and guide you by advising exercise and some medications and counseling.
4. Fear of excessive sexual demands: the image of the "insatiable woman" is a creation of literature and porn movies, plus listening and comparing sexual life of friends. The truth is that there is a wide variation of sexual needs among both women and men. One of the freedom today's women have achieved, is the knowledge that their bodies are their own, and they need not give in to a man's sexual demands, if they don't desire so. It will be equally relieving for men to know that they are under no such obligation either. As men and women learn to accept each other as equals and realize that each has individual sexual needs, this fear will certainly decrease.
5. Fear of losing self-control: It is common for men who feel that they love their wives and care for their marriage, carry the fear of getting attracted to other women. It is physiological for a man to get attracted to some women who fit into his fantasy. Many men carry the guilt for such secret fantasies. Many others fear that they may Not be able to control them if they happen to be in an inviting situation. They doubt their ability to be in charge of their sexual urges. It becomes a constant Struggle to balance their libido urges and their commitment in the marriage. These Husbands need to realize that they are relating at a very superficial level of understanding and commitment
Fear that female partner (wife or friend) may become interested in someone else: A man, who believes he owns his wife or girl friend, doe not want to lose her for anyone else. He constantly feels that her infidelity is just a mater of right opportunity. The feeling of possessiveness so much a part of male mentality, and the jealously which proceeds inevitably from this feeling, have been the cause of endless suffering. It is necessary to change perspective of this man. A wife who understands this and works silently to reassure him, has a better chance of a happy and better relationship than one who responds to his jealously with anger and aggression.
6. Am I normal? : Fear of not being normal. Many men want to know if they are normal sexually like other men. This is one of the biggest concerns amongst many men. Many men compare their sexual behavior and always worried about their sexuality and myths related to size, timings, erection, love making positions etc. What should matter is whether you are hurting yourself or your partner with your sexual behavior. If both partners enjoy equally the act is right. As a sexologist, I do see many male who would like to know whether they are normal or not? I would advise you should seek a consultation with a medical doctor or sex expert, if you have any doubt about your sexuality.
Responding to such sexual fears with a mature self-understanding and cooperating partner is the first and the most important step and often nothing more may be required. If however, the fears persist, help of a professional qualified sexologist and relationship counselors may be needed.
These anxieties cause your body to launch a response called fight. Stress Hormones like adrenaline are released in a series of reactions. Of course Your partner isn't threat, which is why this response is so counterproductive to Intimacy.
Symptoms of Sexual Performance Anxiety:
Your state of mind can have a big impact on your ability to get aroused. Even If you are with someone who you find sexually appealing: worrying about Whether you will be able to please your partner can make it impossible for you to do just that. In men, one of the effect of the stress hormone is to constrict blood vessels. Less blood flowing into the penis makes it more difficult to have an erection. Even men who normally do not have any trouble getting excited can become unable to het an erection when they are overcome by sexual performance anxiety